Why Men and Women cheat in Relationships and Marriages

There is no good reason for cheating, however, certain factors could be responsible for man or woman to cheat in relationship. There is no doubt that keeping and maintaining happy relationship devoid of infidelity(cheating) demands high sense of responsibility that if time is taken carefully to relax, ponder and address headlong, especially when you must have had it up to your neck, you would wish to be relief of such a time of terrible gridlock so that each partner go to his and her separate ways. You are completely fed up, such that you wish for a break, especially at the time of high emotion at its peak, sometimes as a result of so many un-known wrongs done and covered –up by the partner.

The cover-up could be as a result of past life messed-up chances at a right person which resulted into frustration and confusion about what is right from what is wrong any more; and so could go to bet with any one irrespective of whether he or she is in relationship, married or not.

When you lie in relationship, it is a clear definition that you are dangerous, and cannot be trusted. There is a general perception that any one who lie will also cheat and steal or both at the same time. In a serious relationship, no man or woman can trust the person whose word cannot be taken for what he or she says, because lying destroys the foundation basics for trust in any relationship. A man or woman avoid such a person like a leaper, because a lair is one big liability that any man or woman would want to avoid any day any time. The Un-justifiable reasons for cheating (Infidelity)

Before I continue, let me further emphasize the fact that every relationship is carefully built on solid rock of mutual trust and respect for two mature male and female who promised to love and share their love only for each other. However, such vow is under threat, especially in this our present highly sexualized dispensation, where people don’t differentiate between a married person or not before the carry out advances. People don’t care either about Sexual Transmitted Diseases (STD) or Sexual Transmitted Infection (STI). All that gives them sleepless night all their lives is how to have fun(that is how they call it) or cheat on their partner, so everything goes for them. Some men and women boast of being randy, and no serious minded person wishes to marry some body that is clearly randy to the core. It is a height of irresponsibility and does not call for celebration. These days, especially in Africa, it is easy to see a man take a cover under the phrase that ‘men are polygamous in nature’ to buy enough arguments to bail themselves out of infidelity(cheating).

Some women don’t see any wrong having sex with different men in a row, in fact, to them, it is a hubby.

(a) Greed: Some people are so greedy that no matter what you offer, they’ll look for highest bidder. To them, they are scarce commodity, and their body language tends to say: ‘who pay me higher, have me.’ Both men and women are guilty of this, or have forgotten, let me refresh your memory once more. Have you heard of Sugar Daddy and Sugar Mummy- that is it.

(b) High sexual Appetite: It is common to see people with high drive for sex as a result of the fact that such person have been exposed to so many men and women right from his or her youthful age and days, now as a married person, it is very difficult to get satisfied sexually by one person, basically because the past experience with various people.

The reason is that such person can no longer stay without having intercourse over a longer period, moreover, any slightest advances from the opposite sex would arouse his or her attention and such could quickly dive into the bed for gratification, even sometimes without compensation in monetary terms. The irony is that these are the kind of people would say, ‘ I want a faithful partner by my side’. Tell me, will you like to be the faithful partner to such person who does not have iota of respect for him self or herself. You cannot cheat the nature, because what goes around comes around. Not even the smartest of the smart can outsmart the nature.

(c) Low esteem exhibition: All over the world there are cases on media, and in our immediate environment of sexual harassment by the opposite sex, as a result of the victim demonstration of low esteem and worthlessness, may be as a result past assault. The set of now feel they are worthless even in relationship could still be taken advantage of by another person. These are set of people who easily present themselves or allow themselves to be won over by some randy people to abuse them and are not ready to expose or fight back and vehemently resist such grievous temptation, over and over again. Such low esteem prevent people in the society with such wicked tendencies to go without justice meted on them, thereby create room for such people continuing the act and taking undue advantage of the defend less and weakling in the society.

(d) Bird of the same feather flocking together: there is usually the saying: ‘show me your friend and I will tell you whom you are’ I don’t need to emphasize this point or stretch it too far, because I guess you already have the clue, and you are decoding right now what I mean. All over the world, there are many easy-going, promiscuous, also corrupt men and women scattered every where. You chose any one as friend or acquaintance, you get into trouble, big time. Some times you want to be their friends out of business demand with your innocent mind, you get your fingers burnt. This where every celebrity must be very selective who should be their friends, because the higher you go, the nearer you are to people who may want to separate you from your ideal partner into cheating on them, before you know it, your name is all over the social media platforms.

(e) Living in the past: It depends on how you look at it. When you fail to detach your self from the past relationship that didn’t work out well, people may be right to label you, especially your present partner as a cheat. The truth of the matter is that whatever transpired between you and your past relationship that eventual break-up proved that both of you were not good to stay as husband and wife, and so the past should be forgotten, if you are going to live a happy married person. I think you know several interventions usually tried to help quell the initial wrangling between you and your ex, and for the fact that such intervention failed should serve as a pointer for you to forget the past for good if you are going to move forward. For the fact both of you have maturely agreed to go your separate ways shows that you were not good to stay together, so detach your self make your present relationship work, otherwise, you are going to end up as a wonderer, take my word seriously.

(f) Attempt to retaliate or prove a point: Do not retaliate by going into cheating, it may boomerang. Try and use maturity to solve your problems. Although am still researching to ascertain the claim. It is said that more than 40 percent of break marriages are coursed by an un-confirmed rumor of one partner cheating, or found in a compromising position with the opposite sex. Yes we know that there is no smoke without fire, but sometimes, what you accept as cheat from your reporter may be a calculated plot to separate you from your partner. As a result, use maturity and investigate, then confront your partner, and ask him or her to tell you nothing less than the whole truth to save the relationship and marriage. Give your partner the benefit of doubt and allow hum or her to explain. I believe that there is nothing new under the sun, and nothing that only two of you cannot solve without the third party.

(g) Cheating for fun : there are people who cheat for fun. What I cannot fully understand about the whole scenario is the rationale behind the fun, these set of people appeared to be comfortable with it. Sometimes you hear them saying ‘oh, am happily married, and I love my wife.’ And the woman would say ‘am cheating on my husband to keep my job, or get a contract, but I love my husband and children so much.’ Honestly speaking, the above confession by both partners don’t add-up to my hearing, because as much as I know, it is only when a husband and a wife are separated for legal reason or in court, processing their divorce papers that a room for having sex out side the union could be partially justified. I don’t think that cheating for the fun of it ideal for ideal man and woman.

Relationship is a serious bond. If you really want to be happy, don’t even reason to cheat, because it could bring you and your partner into disrepute, and consequently, separation and divorce. Your faithfulness in relationship has a tag on it, ‘price’. It is the price that you have to pay that will make you ignore little faults that could push into infidelity just to prove a useless point that will eventually cause you your precious relationship and marriage that you have labored so hard with resources and time to protect over the years. Harry Browne once wrote in one of his articles that I read that: ‘Everything you want in life has a price to pay if you want to make things better, a price to pay for leaving things as they are, a price for everything.’

I’ll like to emphasize on the second to the last phrase, ‘leaving things as they are’ yes, there is reason(s) to opt for more handsome, richer, taller men or women, but you have chosen your partner to be one and only, so leave things as they are. People sometimes invite heart break, frustrations to their lives, because they don’t leave things as they are(as chosen by them in the first place) They forget that their partner left other people to chose them .

Research findings revealed that about 85 percent of man happiness comes from happy relationship. The same 85 percent of problems and un-happiness will be associated with other people who don’t mean well for you and your relationship too, so if you are happy where you are, leave things as they are, but if there is a challenge that would want to pull your relationship down, stay there and confront the problem, not your partner.